Meryl Is Stressed
by AngelDragon
Summary: Meryl goes psycho-chick on Vash after an innocent mistake & pays an embarrassing price for her overreaction ^_^


Meryl Is Stressed a Trigun fic by AngelDragon  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun.. But I do fantasize about Vash, Wolfwood, Legato and Knives ^_^  
  
Warnings/Notes: This is my first Trigun fic (but most definitely not the last!) Rated for violence and insanity, of course. No spoilers, just comedy (V: Tastes great, less filling? 0.o.)  
  
  
  
Also:This is mostly the product of late night listening to Eminem's 'I Think My Dad's Gone Crazy' song.(and if you think this is strange,you should hear some of the other songs I get my inspiration from ^_^)  
  
  
  
It all started out innocently enough. Of course, that should have tipped him off, but..  
  
Vash, humming a happy tune, wandered through the common room of the hotel he and the others were sharing rooms in, carrying a little bag with bath stuff in it, clad in a bathrobe and boxers.  
  
'Morning, guys!'he called, heading for the shared bathroom.  
  
'Mornin','Milly said groggily over her cereal, hair sticking out in odd directions, wearing a fluffy bathrobe, flannel nightshirt and bunny slippers.  
  
''Lo, Tongari,'Wolfwood called from behind his newspaper, also in bathrobe and boxers. He was grinning silently as he turned the page.  
  
No one but Nick saw what was coming next; all hell breaking loose. A loud female scream, followed by things being thrown at a rapidly retreating Vash, who was also screaming like a girl as he ran from the bathroom. The grin on Nick's face deepened.  
  
'Helpmehelpmehelpmehelpme!!'Vash yelled, trying to hide behind Milly, who was wiping her eyes and taking her bowl to the sink, but she didn't stay still long enough before..  
  
'AHA!! You can't run from me, you pervert!'Meryl yelled, as she came skidding into the room, dripping wet in her bathrobe and brandishing the business end of a scrub-brush. She advanced on Vash; he backed away warily, grinning nervously with his hands up in appeasement.  
  
'C - can't we talk about this?! I REALLY don't want to find out what you're gonna do with that scrub-brush!'he begged, a nervous giggle escaping him.  
  
'No way broomhead! I've absolutely HAD IT with you!!'Meryl was staring daggers at him; one brow twitching a bit as she kept on coming, teeth gritted. I've got that blonde-haired hentai now! she thought.  
  
'I can take the drinking 'til you puke, the idiotic ogling of every woman you meet and strike out with, the reckless showing-off, even that ridiculous craving for donuts and stuffing your face in general, but this- is-the-LAST-STRAW!!'she yelled. As she passed the counter, she spied a bread knife. With a wicked gleam in her eye, she ditched the brush and grabbed the knife, giving him an evil grin.  
  
'Milly, help me, please! She's YOUR friend and sempai!'Vash cried, still trying to duck behind her.  
  
'Mmm, what'd you do this time, Vash-san?'she asked, not quite awake just yet and turning to look at him, blearily.  
  
'It was an accident, I swear!'Vash pleaded. He was sweating bullets by now. How the hell do I get out of this? he thought. She's scary!   
  
'I-WON'T-TOLERATE-PEEPERS!'Meryl screeched, swiping at him with the knife. He let out a high little 'eep!' and ducked, but a spiky lock wasn't so lucky. It fluttered to the floor. Shocked, Vash gaped at her.  
  
'Hey, watch the hair!'he cried as he ducked behind Wolfwood, who continued to read his paper,revealing nothing.'Nick,save me!She's trying to kill me!'Vash cried.  
  
'You're on your own, pal,'Wolf said, with a hint of amusement in his voice. I love seeing that Tongari squirm his way out of a situationhe thought, mentally chuckling.  
  
'Thanks for nothing!'Vash yelled, ducking once again as Meryl swiped, missing the hair but slicing off part of Wolfwood's paper.  
  
'Take it like a man, you baka! Your hair won't be the only thing I cut off if you make me chase you!'Meryl screeched.  
  
Both men shared a collective wince as a very unpleasant picture flashed through their minds. Just as Meryl closed in on Vash, one hand clenching the front of his bathrobe, the other struggling to not lift the knife or definitely lift the knife, Vash prepared for the worst, squeezing his eyes shut. She's really serious about carving me up! he thought, nervously.  
  
Wolfwood calmly folded his mangled paper, coughed, then pointed something out to Meryl, who had a vein throbbing on her head.  
  
'Your robe is open,'he said, simply.  
  
Meryl froze in mid-stab, then her face turned beet red as she looked down to verify this new piece of information. Reality hit her then. Dropping the knife and releasing Vash's robe, she quickly closed her own robe and raced to her and Milly's room, slamming the door behind her. Vash just stood there, nearly catatonic, until he felt Wolf tap him out of it.  
  
'Hey, you can come out now, she's gone,'he told Vash, who shakily took a seat beside his friend, as Milly just sat near them, looking confused and yawning. I think.. my heart stoppedVash thought.  
  
'H - how long did you know that?!'he stammered, still stunned he'd made it out in one piece,so to speak.  
  
Smirking, Wolfwood shrugged and poured a glass of juice for himself.'Oh.. When she lunged the first time,'he said, calmly, trying hard not to laugh.  
  
Irked, Vash glared at the man who was supposed to be his best friend, then whined,'How COULD you?!She almost stabbed me! And then - then there'd be more unpleasant things!!'  
  
'I was just waiting for the right time, that's all.'Wolf grinned at the dumbstruck blonde.'Oh, and I knew she was in there before you did!'He said this last line on the run, after slamming back his juice, making it to their room just as Vash skidded into the door, hitting it hard enough to make it jump.  
  
'Owchie..'came the Humanoid Typhoon's muffled cry, as Wolfwood bust a gut laughing on his bed.I knew that rotten Tongari would fall for it!he thought.  
  
'Hey, no fair, Nicholas! Lemme in there, I need clothes!'Vash called. Some friend! he thought, a little hurt.  
  
'All's fair in love and peace, Tongari!'was Wolf's laughed-out reply.  
  
*OWARI*  
  
Well, how was it? Please review and let me know. If anyone has any weird ideas, put those in, too. Maybe I'll put 'em up (I do share credit, by the way! Dragons keep their words.) Ja ne! ^_^ 


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